Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I'm not Asking That you Take Me As I Am, I'm not Asking That you take me...AT ALL.

Where there is Light, there is darkness:  my personal liberation rant.

 I am perpetually forgetful- if you tell me something of importance, I'll likely forget it.
 I'm often lazy-if you offer to do it for me, I'll let you.
 And I'm highly distractable-ooooh, what's that shiny thing?!
 I'm flighty, high strung, and have a healthy Irish temper.
 I have little patience for excuses and I always procrastinate.

What I offer of myself I offer without conditions, and for the sake of sharing.  I expect nothing in return.  I'm not asking you to take me as I am, I'm not asking you to take me, at all.  I'm not asking anything from you, as I have everything I need.   I dont seek approval,  respect, or even your love; although if you offer it, without conditions, I'll accept it with immense gratitude.

 If I have something you want/need, you can have it.  You're welcome to take what you can use, and leave the rest-  LEAVE the rest---ALONE.  I'm very happy to keep it.  I embrace all of my attributes, and I hope you embrace yours.   I wont hide my colors, and although I dress myself in the brighter characteristics of my personality like clothing, and offer you the most attractive features, if you choose to look closer you'll undoubtedly notice a rainbow of my other "styles" coming through.  I'll never ask you to take anything from me, offered or noticed.  I'll not pretend to be anything but myself, and will only offer what I truly feel is valuable.  If you  expect more from me than what I am and what I offer, then the disappointment you experience belongs to you.

I will always treat you in kind.  I respect your human-ness.  I acknowledge and appreciate the Light of your spirit, and unless you offer me your other colors for consideration, I wont examine them. I'll never expect anything from you but what you give willingly and who you are, naturally.

Do Unto Yourself as you wish other's would!

Go easy on yourself today.  Be kind to yourself.  Treat YOURSELF as you wish others would treat you!  For you cannot to give to others what you dont give to yourself first...nor can others give to you what you haven't already granted yourself.
Do you feel un-loved?  LOVE YOURSELF!  How?  Well, how would you love your best friend if she were feeling as you are right now? 
Do you feel un-appreciated?  Appreciate yourself!  How?  Well, how would you show appreciation to your best friend if she felt as you do right now?
Feel un-productive?  Un-happy?  Un-energized?  un-worthy?
Give these gifts to yourself!  Practice being your own best friend! 
If you dont, no one else can....for you ccannot recieve anything from outside of yourself that you haven't accepted from within yourself first.
Be kind and gentle to yourself today. 
No one is judging you, but you............ Give yourself a break, for Godssake!  :)

Everything Roses

When I look at my life I cant help but assume that somewhere, at some time, I did something really, REALLY nice for someone of extreme spiritual importance.  I fantasize that maybe it was even an angel posing as a human.

I mean, certainly I have never travelled the traditional route or engaged in the western approach to achievement, but somehow I landed here, in this life; and because I know that we are all bound by the natural laws of the universe: karma, cause & effect, ect., I cannot deny that I deserve everything I've got.  (whether I like it or not).

There have always been people (and always will be) who say I've not worked for what I've received.  That blessings just land in my lap, that no matter what I do-or how much I mess it all up, it always comes up roses in the end.  And that is cause for frustration by some-and always pleasant surprise for me. However, if it's makes the frustrated feel better, to whom much is given, much is expected (the blessing and the curse).  And certainly, the frustrated have not taken a look at my tired, and tattered shoes.

There have always been, and will always be people who feel better about themselves by pointing out my (and your) flaws, mistakes, weaknesses (as if we, especially women, dont already brood over those lists every day).  I certainly don't try to be the best-I gave up competition when I took the crown off my head in 1994, and couldn't care any less about good,better, best.   I certainly dont claim to be smart, organized, or an expert at ANYTHING I DO; although I know my gifts and weaknesses intimately.  What I DO put effort into caring about is honoring my authentic self by listening to my inner voice, respectfully bringing to physical manifestation the surges of inspiration that I receive, and caring for myself-body, mind & spirit. Thats conscious and healthy selfishness. I also try to be a good momma and wife, sister, daughter and friend.  

Beyond that, what I do outwardly, and possibly what I've always done is for the sake of sharing with others-not because I'm a good person, but becasue that is just who my authentic self is.  It's the way I'm wired.

You see, it's the INTENTION behind the inspiration that determines your outcome.  What are your motives?  Are they selfish-I mean the ego-driven kind of selfish?  Certainly there's  nothing wrong with knowing your personal value, that's the healthy-selfish I alluded to earlier. Why and for whom are you wanting this?  Important question- heck, the most important question.  

Moral:  when the soil of your garden  is fed with nutrients (Intentions) that are rich in love, compassion & benefit for others, then the seeds (Inspiration) you plant will not only grow, but will always come up smelling of roses.  
.....No matter how inept you are as a gardener.

and that's the truth for today.

Happy Tuesday!

You Don't Get More Than You Can Handle

Often we hear this statement as a prayer.  A source of strength and assurance that we really are capable of handling the trials we are faced with.  

I believe that it's also a lesson in learning to recieve.

I want so much more for/of myself than I currently have/am.  I'm not talking about material things, of course.  This is about character, attributes, feelings.  

I know that we cannot have and do not recieve more than we can handle.  So we must handle ourselves with care: compassion, unconditional love, & forgiveness.  We must handle, manage all the things we wish we had more of....that can be anything at all.  

What AREN'T you managing?  What is nagging you for your attention?  What is spiralling out of your control?  Chances are it's the same thing you wish you had more of, or it's an indirect product of it.  

For me, I want to feel good.  Body, mind and spirit.  That means a body that is strong, flexible, without pain.  A joyful spirit that wakes each morning and cannot wait to jump out of bed, grateful for another glorious day of magic on this planet; a clear and sharp mind free of confusion and self deprevating thoughts.  A complete "well-being" that moves through the day with purpose IN the flow, not resisting what is and not fighting and/or running toward anything more....just moving, progressively and joyously.

Old habits are hard to break, we habitually think the same thoughts, make the same self sabotaging mistakes, relive the same unhealthy relationships just with different names and faces, have the same unwanted experiences in different times and places-----until we don't.  Until we make changes.  and change, although with a shift in attitude and perception can happen in an instant, for most of us takes self discipline and comittment (two of the many charateristics on my list of "things I wish I had").

So for me, that's what I need to work on first:  building self discipline.  Building my stregnth and character first, as well as my physical body will give me a foundation in which to make the other changes I feel are necessary to my mission:  I want to feel good.  making a lifetime comittment to one thing.  Just one thing.  And it doesn't have to be a difficult thing.  Fullfilling any comittment with self discipline will begin to build that muscle and in turn start to shift the way I think of myself.  It can be creating a new habit, or eliminating an old one.  My gut tells me that creating a new habit may be easier than eliminating an old one.  So I will begin there.

Is there anything calling to you, nagging you for attention, feelings of unease?  Is there something you long for more of?  Just one little thing?  Let's break that one little thing down to it's smallest cell.  What's that final seed that needs nuturing so that you can blossom?

Much Love,